Have you missed me? I have taken some time off. I haven’t been posting very regularly. Anywhere. No Facebook or Instagram. Certainly no Twitter. And I’m sure you have noticed, no blogging. It was very intentional. Not planned, necessarily, but definitely intentional.
Sometimes it is hard to read other people’s feeds. I mean, I love that I am surrounded by successful and happy individuals. They are all talented and smart and worldly. I just began comparing myself to them. You know, the whole “well I can do that too” or “should I be doing that?” or “I can’t do that”. It gets tough on one’s self esteem.
But it shouldn’t.
We all have our talents and our flaws. It just seems that on social media (and blogging) we refuse to admit our flaws. All we want to show off is how wonderful our life is. How spectacular our family is, how much we love our significant other or how talented we are. And yes, all of those are blessings. But it can be hard when you feel like you are a little stuck in neutral. And that was exactly where I ended up in May. Stuck.
I felt completely like I was doing everything for everyone else’s benefit. I took a step back and said “ENOUGH!” I was constantly wondering why my Instagram feed wasn’t growing faster. Why wasn’t my blog getting more pageviews a day? Did I look like a loser on Facebook because I wasn’t traveling more or doing more with my family? I felt like life had handed me a bunch of lemons. I was vonlunteering at school non-stop. (So much so that we bought a house next door to school!) I was driving my kids in opposite directions for their sports. I was keeping up with household duties while my husband traveled for work. And looking at everyone else’s social media presence made me feel inadequate.
They were all doing the same things too, and then some! Their marriages were perfect and their families adorable on their vacation to Hawaii. Everyone was well dressed and well rested. They volunteered and exercised and traveled and cooked and shopped…… What did I do? That was when it hit me. I DO PLENTY. I needed to stop comparing myself to others based on their social media. Heck! I needed to stop comparing myself to others. Period.
So I took a step back. I didn’t worry about social media and I didn’t really blog much. I focused on what was important. I got my family settled into an apartment. (We are renovating that house next to school.) I am working on that 10 lbs. I gained last year from lack of exercise. I think I spent too much time in front of my computer and in the car, and less time taking care of myself. We went on an epic family vacation to Yosemite. We have spent lots of time at the pool. We have invested in our friendships more.
That is why I disappeared for a little bit. And I don’t regret it. I’ve had more fun. I’ve slept better. I’ve focused on the important things. And I plan to continue. Because I don’t want to feel stuck again. And I don’t want to compare myself to others. I’m one of a kind. Just like everyone else in this world.
(But I do love blogging so I guess I’ll stick with that!)